Welcome to Day Eighteen of the 30 Days of Forgiveness.
Hello, Dear One.
One of the hardest things for me to experience has been the loss of friendship.
My friend didn’t die; he just decided he no longer wanted to be my friend.
I remember holding onto the belief that he would change his mind. I thought—he’ll snap out of this and see how valuable our friendship is.
I remember being mad initially, but really underneath I was really, really sad. I really valued our connection, and his withdrawal of friendship was a great loss to me.
If I’d done something wrong—something to deserve the loss of our friendship—it would have been easier to manage the pain. That would have given me some sense of control. I could have changed and vowed to do things differently next time, but the sad, sad truth was I did nothing wrong.
I did nothing to deserve the loss.
He just chose to let our friendship go because he felt that was best for his situation, and this was terribly hard to accept.
You see in life, we don’t control everything.
We often wish we could. We wish that being good and doing the right things would absolve us from harm and pain, but that is not how life works.
Life teaches—sometimes through deeply painful experiences.
Life teaches, and we learn.
Have you ever lost a friend or a beloved pet? It doesn’t matter if it was due to death or a withdrawal of friendship; it is painful.
While time lessens the pain, the wounds of loss may still be present. If you haven’t allowed yourself to fully feel the pain of loss, consider taking a step toward healing and forgiveness today. Place your hand on your heart—trusting that your divine source is with you always—then allow yourself to just be with the feelings that surface. Allow yourself to feel the feelings you suppressed, denied, and numbed.
I know you feel like the pain will overwhelm you. It will not.
Your feelings just need to be felt then released, and forgetting isn’t releasing. Denying the pain isn’t releasing. Numbing only works temporarily. Unprocessed feelings become stuck in our bodies and manifest as physical pain and other forms of dysfunction.
Just sit with the pain until it begins to subside, and ask God (or your higher power) to bring love and light into your heart. Allow yourself to sit with the helplessness over death and/or rejection. Soothe yourself, just as you would soothe a small child who had lost their friend (or a beloved pet).
If this is too much to do on your own, talk with a trusted friend or therapist. You may need support. If so, the most loving thing to do may be to reach out to someone who can truly nurture and hold you as you process this deep loss.
Alright, sweet one. Today’s contemplation can be a really hard one. Feel free to leave a comment if you had a break through or if you need support.
Leave a comment below.
Sending warm hugs your way,
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Today’s Featured Image: “Untitled” by Silvia Sala on Flickr