Welcome to Day Five of the 30-Days of Forgiveness.

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Hello, Love

How do you know when you need to forgive yourself? What about other people? Or a situation? Or an authority—like a boss, perhaps? What about a bigger authority? Like how do you know you need to forgive God, for example?

I feel like I dropped a bomb with the last one! =)

You know you need to forgive when you feel a negative emotional charge well up inside you.

You may remember a time when you hurt a person you love. Or you recall a time when you were fired from a job unexpectedly. Perhaps you feel a charge when you open up a letter from your health insurance carrier and your rates are going up.

Anytime you notice shame, guilt and blame, you’ll benefit from assessing what or who you need to forgive in your life. Anger, resentment, and fear are also great indicators.

Today’s Call To Action

Think of a time in your life when you didn’t realize you were holding unforgiveness in your heart toward someone or a life circumstance. Consider what caused you to realize you needed to take some action to forgive. Comment below and share a bit of your story—the situation, how you knew when it was time to forgive, and how forgiveness shifted the outcome.

Alright, sweet one. It’s such a pleasure to host this forgiveness challenge. I’m enjoying reading your comments and feeling the connection we share through this wonderful series.

Again, post your forgiveness story and discoveries in the comment’s section below.

Much love,

a

a

Check out the entire 30 Day of Forgiveness series and
join the community by subscribing to our monthly [LOVE LETTER].


Today’s Feature Image: “Heart In Child’s Hand” by Lisa L Wiedmeier on Flickr

4 comments on “How Do You Know When You Need To Forgive?”

  1. As a software developer, I love it when my code doesn’t barf when I run it. When it does, I get to practice my analytical skills and systematically hunt down the elusive little bugs and murder them — er correct them.

    When the hunt becomes especially tedious and drags out due to the extra complexity in some parts of the code, the exhilaration of the hunt begins to morph from an interesting exercise into a more painful grind. Sometimes, when it gets especially tedious, I observe the chatter in my brain where my subconscious child attacks me personally. For some reason, the bratty kid within has virtually zero tolerance for less than perfection.

    This is where I need to learn to take a step back, take a breath and honestly forgive myself for being an imperfect human being. Still trying to learn that lesson … Clearly, I need more meditation. 🙂

    • I commend you for noticing your “bratty kid within” and for the persistent need for perfection. These aspects of ourselves are ripe areas for forgiveness. You’re recipe for healing these wounded parts sound wonderful. Thanks for sharing, Greg. (PS. It the word “barf” correct? I’ve never head it used that way.)

  2. The story that comes up for me in today’s Call to Action occured when in the late 90’s when I was a freshman in college. My parents gave me an old 70’s station wagon with wood-grain paneling. It was a beast of car, and I was embarrassed driving it. One day while backing up, my front bumper caught the back bumper of a nearby car and ripped it clean off. I stood there mortified, and in this moment I realized how much anger I had toward my parents.

    The girl who owned the other car was so cute and bubbly. She drove a new Honda Civic, had nice clothes, and popular friends. At the time, I thought she had all of these things because her parents gave them to her, and the reason I had this car and clothes was because my parents didn’t provide something better for me. (I openly confess I feel uncomfortable writing this b/c I don’t like the judgements I had toward my parents—who are amazing, hard-working people.) I believed that our parents put us out in the world on a platform, and this other girl got a higher platform than I did. I believed I was going to have to work extra hard just to catch up with her, and I resented that my parents didn’t do more to give me a higher platform.

    I felt this way for a long time, and I think the movement away from this of line of reasoning happened slowly over time. However, it was two years ago, when I went on a sabbatical and purchased a tiny house out in West Texas, that I realized what a gift my parents gave me. That the “platform” I saw as an 18 year old was based purely on economic factors.

    I remember reading Thomas Stanley’s books where he shares that many wealthy people today came from poor/poverty backgrounds, and their early training was actually a benefit. While at the moment I’m far from having the financial numbers that Stanley recommends, I can’t help but see his underlying sentiment as true. Disadvantage early on can be fuel for growth and opportunity in disguise.

    My upbringing, in many ways, has been a bigger virtue than I previously realized. Because of the intrinsic values my parents installed in me, I am able to take risks and live my purpose today. I’m amazing how off track I was when I believed my value only came from extrinsic things (such as cars and clothes). Now I realize the great importance of measuring my worth and progress from my intrinsic qualities, and I see that the “platform” my parents gave me has benefited me more than I could originally understand on the day of the station wagon incidence!

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