Welcome to Day 25 of the 30 Days of Forgiveness. //

Hello, Love

This past few weeks have been really crazy. 

There have be so many unforeseen incidences, and I’ve needed to make a lot of decisions with very little information.

During stressful times like this, one question continuously comes to me. “How can I love myself out of this mess?

When things don’t go according to plan, and you feel a part of you wants to close your heart and withdraw from the world, how can you love yourself out of the mess?

When you’re slammed with the unexpected—extra bills after the birth of a child, extra work demands because a coworker left, extra stress because you’ve received the sad news your mom has a chronic illness—how do you love yourself out of the mess?

Today’s Contemplation:

Take a few minutes today and find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Now take a few deep breaths and consider a current stressor that is affecting your life. As you bring up this situation, ask your Inner Guidance to give you some encouragement and advice. Simply ask “How can I love myself out of this situation?

(Feel free to try variations of this question such as “How can I love myself while I’m in this situation?” or “How can I love myself despite this situation?“)

Alright, dear one. There is a part of all of us that is connected to the all-that-is. This part of us knows what is in our highest good. One of the best ways to forgive ourselves is to provide a safe and nourishing space and ask our Guidance how we can love ourselves in spite of the difficulties of life.

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Take a moment to share a little bit about what is going on in your life, and then let us know what encouragement your Guidance inspired you with during your meditation.

I deeply want you to know that everyone in our community is holding space for you to love yourself fully and thrive even in the crazy times!

My thoughts are with you, sweet one.

xoxo,

a

a

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12 comments on “How Do I Love Myself Out Of This Mess?”

  1. This post inspired me to remember some of the recovery work I had done with direction from the writings of Dr. Wayne Dyer. He proposed that we envision how we would feel if the thing or outcome we desired was already accomplished. Robert Schuller also said, “What great thing would you do if you knew you could not fail.” Both quotes help me to see that the existential fear is what welds us in place when decisions need to be made and move on with life. Good technique suggested, Misty, for thinking about all those things rather than the fear of the other.

    • When I read “[Dr. Wayne Dyer] proposed that we envision how we would feel if the thing or outcome we desired was already accomplished.” I feel a huge wave of relief wash over me. Thank you for sharing that, Curtis. I also really appreciate Robert Schuller’s quote. I keep reminding myself—God has my back! and Something better is on the horizon for me.

  2. Yesterday, I got into a heated email exchanged with a neighbor. It started out with a difference of opinion and should have resolved itself with a rational conversation. But then the words in the email exchanges got misinterpreted and the conversation devolved into unfortunate accusations that were downright hurtful. Ouch! How did that happen between two civil people? I was so hurt I had to get out of the house for couple hours to drive the country roads and clear my head.

    One lesson for sure is that when a conversation has neutral or positive comments, then emails and text messages are fine, but if something negative must be addressed, written words can fail miserably. They simply can’t convey the message with a vocal nuance and compassion that spoken voice can convey.

    Then I reflected that we had a good relationship as neighbors and friends and that helped me to turn my energy towards the positive. I didn’t feel like I needed to apologize, but I took the higher road. I apologized first and said I was sorry for my clumsy choice of words and didn’t mean for this to get escalated. A short time later, she also said she was sorry for her part of the argument and emphasized that we had a solid friendship before and wanted that back.

    We probably won’t be holding hands and singing kumbaya anytime soon, but we did manage to de-escalate the hurtful rhetoric and our attachment to the issue, even though we both still fundamentally disagree on the issue itself. Felt like my soul just went through a clothes wringer. I have to credit that drive I took to help me let go of my need to “win” the argument. That and the fact that I generally have a strong need to be on good, loving terms with people.

    • Wow! What a distressing situation.

      I, too, credit long walks and country drives with clearing my head, and I commend you for seeing what is most important to you—”let go of my need to “win” the argument….and… generally have a strong need to be on good, loving terms with people.” It can be hard to see this in the middle of conflict.

      I also completely agree with what you said, “One lesson for sure is that when a conversation has neutral or positive comments, then emails and text messages are fine, but if something negative must be addressed, written words can fail miserably. They simply can’t convey the message with a vocal nuance and compassion that spoken voice can convey.”

      I had a similar situation happen with a neighbor regarding the dog barking. It’s clear if we spoke in person our intention would less likely to have been misinterpreted or if it had, it could have quickly been resolved.

      I am sending you loving energy as you continue to get clear about what is most important to you, and as you heal your heart hurt regarding this situation. xoxo, Misty

    • I admire the part of your story that I sum up as “Do you want to be right or in relationship?” I learned that lesson in a blaze of despair as I saw a previous marriage dissolve into chaos and almost destroy my life. I had a hard time of letting go of being “right” to the point it cost me a marriage and closeness with my children for that marriage. Good for you taking the high road!

      • Thanks Curtis. I should have already learned this lesson, as I too lost a fiancee over the need to be right. I think it’s more of a male thing, for sure to be so headstrong and domineering, but letting go of the need to be right sure makes life easier.

  3. I feel really vulnerable sharing my story on the blog. However, it’s my intention to provide a safe space for you to find support, so I can’t expect you to share if I’m not willing to share. So here goes….

    I’ve unexpectedly needed to sell my home, and the realtor tells me it can take up to a year to sell. By leaving, I’m not only leaving my home but I’m also leaving my a large part of my monthly income (as I was renting the home out on AirBNB). This decision has been very stressful.

    When I do the meditation, my Guidance shares: Relax and let go. Everything is fully taken care of. Begin to envision everyone involved in sell of your home enjoying the process. See yourself loving every day you have left in this home. Love the home, love the community, love the barking dogs next door, as well as, your neighbors. See yourself wishing them well and sending many blessings—in every area of their lives and throughout the duration of their lives. Imagine your home loving its new owners. See them thriving in the home. See them connecting with and being good friends with their new neighbors. See them incredibly excited as they have dinner at a fancy restaurant to celebrate the purchase of their new home. Envision them decorating the home with colors and objects that please them, and imagine the home feeling very happy and joyful to have new owners that are happy to be there.

    See yourself thriving with new opportunities. Imagine yourself in a place that is quiet, peaceful, and perfect for you. See yourself traveling the world free of worry or concern. See everyone involved in the process of selling of your home benefiting, profiting, and rejoicing in the decision you made to sell your home. Know without doubt that you deserve to live in a quiet, peaceful place that fully nourishes and supports your highest good.

    Know without doubt by making this decision, Misty, you make it possible to create a life you love. Well done, Misty Girl, well done!

    Alright, there it is. A possibility for me to thrive in an environment that is a perfect fit for me. Thanks for reading about my story, dear one! xoxo

    • Your meditation connecting with Guidance is very beautiful, Misty. I would not interpret it as “loving yourself out of this mess” but as loving yourself in the midst of the mess. The latter is similar to a guiding principle in my own spiritual practice: “Give thanks in all things.” This does not advise giving thanks FOR all things, but IN all things. You are still in a state of thankfulness no matter what is happening in your external world. And in identity with Guidance you realize that none of these things can damage or even threaten the truth of who you are.

      • Thank you for your comment, Jerry. I love that‚ “Give thanks IN all things… You are still in a state of thankfulness no matter what is happening in your external world. And in identity with Guidance you realize that none of these things can damage or even threaten the truth of who you are.” That feels very grounding and clarifying to me, and it helps me trust my gut (my Guidance) and love despite the fear and frustration. Already good things have began to unfold for me, and I am working to fully trust that I am taken care of in all things. xoxo, Misty

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