Welcome to Day 23 of the 30 Days of Forgiveness. //
A few mornings ago I woke up with an old memory.
It was a memory of my final year of chiropractic practice, and a situation occurred where I chose not to uphold the highest level of integrity.
This memory washed over me with a wave of disgrace, and for once, I just sat there and allowed myself to feel all of the feelings that accompanied it.
I realized at some point that I was telling myself things that were not true. I was telling myself that because this happened I wasn’t a person of integrity. I told myself there must have been some point where I lost my integrity, and now I had to prove myself. My mind started searching for all the things I’ve done wrong, and boy, could it find them.
As I sat and went through an InnerBonding practice, I recognized that a part of me (the Wounded Self) believed if I didn’t beat myself up over this situation that I might make a similar mistake again. It believed that if it didn’t punish me and make me feel really bad around my past decision, then I might devolve into a person who would never have any integrity again (or worse, I would continue to be a person with no integrity).
I’m so glad I took the time to examine my thoughts and to realize that they were wrong—a single bad decision does not make me a bad person.
I love when I looked at the Truth I saw with clarity that I could have made a better decision, and if it happened again, it would be highly probable I would.
Yet before I arrived at the Truth, I went down all kinds of negative mental pathways.
I thought of all the things that could have gone wrong. I thought of doing the “right thing” and then being punished for it. I thought of all the ways I could have acted better then beat myself up for choosing the “wrong” path.
I know I’m not alone in the mess the mind makes. I’m not the only person who has made a mistake and then has proceeded to beat myself up for it—falsely believing that self-berating is the key to never doing it again and therefore “being a good person”.
Is there a mistake that you are currently beating yourself up over? It could be due to a lack of personal integrity, such as my situation, or it could have been because of an honest error?
Just allow yourself to sit and fully feel the feelings regarding this situation. Assure yourself (your Inner Child) that it is okay to feel whatever feelings arise. Notice if you feel the need to beat yourself up and make yourself wrong.
Finally put your hand on your heart and go to your own Higher Guidance, and ask. What is the Truth about this situation? What is the loving action I can take to put this mistake to rest?
Alright, dear one. We all make mistakes. How we treat ourselves when they occur can make all the difference.
I pray you choose to treat yourself with kindness and love.
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Today’s Featured Image: “You Need Light In The Forest” by Mish Sukharev on Flickr