Welcome to Day 12 of the “No Limits” Challenge. //

Hello, Love

About a year ago I discovered Heather Plett’s lovely article, “What it Really Means to Hold Space for Someone“. It was a beautiful tale of how a gifted palliative care nurse held space for the author and her mother during her mom’s final days, and it eloquently described how to be there for the people who need you most.

This is such a wonderful skill to cultivate.


While meditating this morning, I realized the very person who most needed someone to hold space for them was myself. I realized that I rarely if ever just allowed myself to be where I am at emotionally. I’m always trying to turn everything into something positive.

I realized that not allowing myself to just sit and be with what I was feeling was an act of inner cruelty.

It can be really hard to be honest with oneself and to sit with how things “really are”.

So often we spend most of our time chastising ourselves for not being “more positive”. Or worse, we tell ourselves that we are the source of the uncomfortable things occurring in our lives because we “attracted” them by our negative thinking.


Today’s Challenge:

Find some time to be alone today and allow yourself the space to just be and feel exactly as you do in this very moment. It doesn’t matter what you feel—good or bad. See if you can just allow yourself the space to feel what’s really under the surface.

Notice any discomfort or need to try and “fix” things. Are you trying to get things to be different than they are? See if you can just sit with any discomfort from this process.

Allow yourself to gently rebuff the belief (even if only temporarily) that being sad or angry or hurt (or any negative feeling) will cause more sadness or anger or hurt. Try this one for size—attempting to make things different than they are is an act of inner-cruelty. Be with yourself, even if you can only do this just for a few minutes.

Trust (again, even if only temporarily) that if you allow yourself to feel what’s really going on inside, a part of you will feel seen and heard.

Alright, dear one. This process is wonderful for healing negative emotions so they can be released from your body, and I lovingly invite you to remember that very often the person who may most need your love, attention, and understanding is YOU.

Love and light,



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Today’s Feature Image: A Pretty Candle” by Humaidi Alifiansyah on Flickr

2 comments on “Holding Space For Yourself When You Need It Most”

  1. Thanks for this wonderful challenge, Misty. Yes it is a challenge just to sit with oneself, being with whatever thoughts and emotions come up, without trying to “fix” things. I had the opportunity to do this recently during a bronchial infection that lasted three weeks and kept me off work for much of that time. I found myself going out on the patio of the house I live in and just sitting there enjoying the trees and grass that surround the house.

    Yes I momentarily felt the temptation to register a complaint: “Life, why are you doing this to me? Can’t you see I could accomplish much more if I was at work?” But I quickly let this go and actually found myself giving thanks for exactly what I was experiencing and for the wonder of life. It was very relaxing and I’m sure contributed to my healing process, though I wasn’t requiring it to.

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